9/9/14

NYC House Tour: 5 People, 2 Bedrooms, 1 Bathroom

We've been living in the same apartment for almost 4 years. It's the longest we've ever lived anywhere. Every time the lease renewal comes up, we keep saying we're going to move, but we don't. We just extended our lease until March 1, 2015. Which means only one thing: HOUSE TOUR TIME. It's taken me so long to finally feel like it's finished. That day has arrived.

Ah yes. The universal problem of too many pillows, not enough cases. I think Shakespeare wrote a play about it.
Still haven't hung up any artwork or installed that air conditioner. The chalkboard? It's going to look awesome when it's hung. Decorating my house is so low on my priorities. It's my way of rebelling against the stay at home mom stereotype. I'll show them. Them? Oh, right. No one cares. 
Lamp shades? Optional. The 2 flattest lumpiest pillows on earth? Must-haves.  
I can only imagine what distraction made me stop sweeping and drop the broom immediately. I think it was this post. When inspiration hits, I don't let anything stop me. Not even brooms. 
Whatever.
Most days walking down my hall requires me to do this:
She also babysits my kids. I asked her to send me this pic. 
I started using Olay Regenerist Anti-Aging Peel and Aveeno night cream a few days a week. The results are amazing when the picture is slightly out of focus. 
I have a big decision to make: wash some clothes or push them back into the hamper. I'm so overwhelmed. Important decisions like this make me feel like my life has value. 
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102 comments:

  1. I'm dying. This is best home tour on the internet. Love you lady!

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  2. I think I have just found someone honest that does not pay a cleaning service just before the house tour!!

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  3. You are so funny! Love your home tour.

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  4. I liked you before, but now I LOVE you!! This is my house! Thanks for keeping it real!

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  5. This post make me have faith in the internet again. Honesty is amazing. And your house looks wonderful to me! You made me genuinely smile throughout the post! Yeah, show them.

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  6. I love this! I always wish home tours featured a "before" look so we could see how it really looks before an immense amount of cleaning and hiding random things happened!

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  7. Loved it! Thank you so much Sharon - you made my day :) :*

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  8. Seriously, your blog is my favorite.

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  9. Ha! This is about what my apartment looks like right now! Love it.

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  10. This looks like my apartment too. I love this post.

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  11. I love this. A REAL home tour! There's hope for the rest of us!

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  12. This is my favorite blog post of all time. Thank you very much.

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  13. Thank you for making my day!!!

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  14. I just laughed so hard that I slightly choked this is amazing. Your humour gold. Can't wait to send this to my mum.

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  15. This is one of the most (if not THE most) hilarious blog post I've ever seen. That was so awesome and I love your honesty!

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  16. I am loving this real home tour! I mean this in the nicest way possible, but this post just made me feel pretty awesome about my cleaning skills. :)

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  17. Longtime lurker and rare (never?) commentator but this is hilarious. I was waiting for "after" pics at first and then I got the joke after the second photo or so. Thanks for being honest.

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  18. Too funny! I'm weary of "well-curated" blogs- real life is always more entertaining.

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  19. I love this so much more than those carefully staged and "curated" (insert falling-off-my-head rolleyes) houses.

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  20. This was amazing. I never comment, NEVER but this made my day. I think you should start a series called the real deal.

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  21. Is that a fish bowl filled with water and shells?? Haahaa I love you so much.

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  22. THANK YOU SO MUCH for posting pics of your imperfect posts to counteract feelings of inadequacy caused by pinterest + blogs!!!

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  23. I'm a 20 year old who reads 7 blogs regularly and yours is by far my favorite. I laughed out loud a few times while reading this post. You're genuinely hilarious without trying too hard and I love it. I get way too excited when I see you have posted something new. Just wanted to share the love and let you know that I check almost daily for new posts so keep 'em coming!

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  24. Great post! Made me laugh and for that I thank you. Also, you took the pressure off. I am not cleaning my house for 2, 3 weeks no, wait, at least 1 month. And, feeling fine about it.

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  25. Awesome, so awesome. You're hilarious! :-) I do love that chalkboard!

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  26. You are officially my favorite person on the internet.

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  27. Can we get a source list, specifically the Red Toothbrush on the floor partially under the chair? Too many awesome things to mention! My house looks like this and I have 1 child. I was going to leave work early to clean it before the Comcast tech comes today - but this just totally changed my mind! Love it!
    On a seriouos note, where does Ella sleep? It looks like only bunk beds I suspect are for the boys.

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    1. omg finally! i was waiting for someone to ask for sources. yes--the toothbrush. it's owen's and it's never in the bathroom. he's gross.
      Ella sleeps on the top bunk and the boys sleep on the bottom two beds. There's a trundle (it's white, you can see it under the ladder). It's a tight fit, but it works.

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    2. You are original and classic and HILARIOUS. I love they all share a room. Whatever Works is my motto!

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  28. This is amazing. I love that you posted a REAL house tour, not pictures of a spotless (unrealistic) perfectly decorated apartment. I live in a very similar apartment in NYC (my hallway actually looks identical to yours) and its also sparsely decorated and never totally clean.

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  29. Is this a preshow/introductory act to the upcoming, sure to be DWResque, snotty and staged Cup of Jo house tour? The third one in a few years... If so, what a great balancing act. :)))))

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    1. whoa whoa whoa be nice anon. she's one of my best friends. i would kill to have her DWResque apartment!

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    2. Yeah seriously, whoa! This house tour was a dream to behold...but I will be happy to see Joanna's tour, too. We be different peeps, y'all, it's all good.

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  30. Love this! Love you! I think other than the fact that it's a "real house tour", people love this because you are so awesome. People are like yay! It's ok! I can be awesome like Sharon even if my house is messy! So, that's my way of saying you're an inspiration! I would pin this on my pinterest board.

    On another note, such pretty rugs! Also, what is that painting in the kitchen? Is it a fat lady eating cake? I think I need it.

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    1. yes, that is a large lady eating cake. it was given to me from my dear friend samantha hahn. she was was giving away a bunch of her old paintings from college. i snatched this one up. it's huge! ha

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    2. Wow, amazing! The early works of Samantha Hahn. Ha.I love Samantha's watercolors too.

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  31. I went to college with Sam and totally remember that painting! From the photo it looked like a lady squatting and giving birth and I was like "Whoa! In the kitchen?!?". We have a one bedroom with our son (we live in the living room on a pull out) and I so identify with this. You. are. killing. it.

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  32. good stuff! love your posts :)

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  33. Great post! I love your writing- you're hilarious!

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  34. This is the single greatest post I have ever seen! Most of the time I am inspired and entertained by blogs but every once in a while they can make me feel pretty crappy. I REALLY appreciate this one!

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  35. Love what you have done to the place!

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  36. Ok I visit your blog, and never left a comment, creepy, I guess you have a lot of those. But just wanted for once let you know that you always make me laugh so hard and smile too. Just love how you dont give a shit and dont wanna look exactly the same as the other mommy blogs, I always look at my house and think how those people with 3,4,5 kids do, how do they they have these perfect all white wall houses? And even the toys or books on he floor looked coll and designy. You are awesome, keep on going. Great blog, adorable kids, and you are top! Sorry my ESL!! best Renata

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  37. Thank you so much for writing this! Can we start a series? I already have pictures of the hole in my ceiling and the doorknob to the bathroom (that often falls out when a guest tries to open the door)...

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  38. You've made this old lady very happy. Thank you.

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  39. I absolutely love your blog. Thanks for making me laugh.

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  40. This is probably my all time favorite blog post I've ever read on the internet. THANK YOU!!! :-) I clicked over to your blog from Cup of Jo a few years ago and have been following along since. I love your writing and your honesty, and as a bonus, you are hilarious. Thank you, Sharon!!! xoxo

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  41. Wow. Thanks everyone for the comments. I honestly thought I lost all of you after those cruise posts. Thanks for sticking around!

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  42. Thanks for your honesty and the way you share your life to us like a real person, with real issues and a real family. I'm kind of sick and tired about the perfection around many blogs I usually read. This one and Joanna's are my fave because you both show to us the real deal :)

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  43. I'm impressed with your place -- it actually looks very minimalist. Add 5 million toys scattered everywhere, and you have our apartment (4 people / 2 bedrooms). I have an extreme lack of motivation in the "homemaking" department., yet I have plenty of time to read your wonderful blog...

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  44. I would totally buy a book you wrote, FYI.

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  45. Haha. This is the best post ever. Made my day.

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  46. This is the best. Especially the broom photo. Blooming hilarious. Best blog on the internet. Thank you!

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  47. I cannot stop laughing. Thank you!

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  48. LOVE this. I want to just reach out and cyber hug you, and not in a creepy way at all I swear. This just made my day.

    www.nomadicd.com

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  49. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you. Thank you.

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  50. Sharon, I so wish you still lived in SF so we could be bff ;) xoxo

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  51. you're the best. i wish more people had your attitude!

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  52. Well that's a bummer that you only re-signed the lease through March 1st. My family and I are coming to NYC for the first time at the end of March and we would have totally rented your place on VRBO.COM. I think it's the only place that would feel homey to us:) You rock.

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  53. Thank you. I love the perfect, curated lives (that is- blogs), but sometimes it just gets too much :)

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  54. you are my HERO!!!!

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  55. Been a while since I commented but this is the best post. Can't stop thinking about it! Love it

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  56. bahahahaha! I was having a tough "How does everyone keep it all together and I can't even keep the dog hair off my kid!?" moment and you totally just saved the day. Every word (and picture) made me laugh. You're the best.

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  57. hahahah I just returned from a trip a couple of days ago and it usually takes me about 10 days to unpack... meanwhile my house is an absolut chaos. I found my toddler sleeping above a pile of dirty laundry yesterday... anyway just to say I loved this post.
    xoxo Tina (a loyal reader from Buenos Aires, Argentina)

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  58. This post makes me so happy. You don't even know. I have always loved your blog because it is refreshing and honest, but this post takes the cake. I get really tired of seeing moms post tours of their perfectly-styled, immaculate homes. I just want something real. You won Sharon. You won.

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  59. YOU ARE AMAZING. Thank you for this post. THANK YOU.

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  60. No words. The awesome-ness of this post can not be overstated!!! Bravo Sharon! Please, please write a book. I'll buy it and I know a zillion others would too. Without naming names (I realize you're all friends..), I'll say that yours is the most genuine, funny, authentic and heartfelt blog out there. That's what true writing is, and your readers can tell and are cheering you on. Have a kickass Tuesday!

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  61. It's almost midnight and I'm reading this post in bed and I laughed so loud my husband jumped out of bed! hahahaha! You're so hilarious! I can't take you!!! Tears are streaming down my face, as I'm forwarding this post to those that need a 'pee in your pants' laugh. Your writing is superb and your comedic timing is crazy good.

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  62. Is that the Finnish flag hanging on the wall? Nice real-life home tour!

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    1. Ha. nope--It's a nautical sailing flag! :)

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  63. Whoa. As a fellow UWSer I can't get over how HUGE your apartment is. Amazing! Well done!

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  64. LOL! this post is out-of-this-world! really made me laugh out so loud I had to share it with my hubby!
    we really love your sense of humour and honesty for that matter!

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  65. haha! love this post. i have mad love for you, sharon!

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  66. I want to find this funny, but I can't.
    It is just worst than the filthy apartments of some gross students I saw during my university years.
    I'd be appalled if my kids were to come back from a play date and describe this.

    You are a grown women, not even a single mother, a mom with a newborn or a women working 9 to 5. Get your act together, you are making a mockery of all of use making an effort, doing regular laundry, not walking on crumbs in our kitchens and sending our kids to school with brushed teeth.

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    1. I'm pretty sure this post isn't a personal attack on how anyone else keeps their home. Good for you though for disagreeing with so many other comments. I think that's brave. But have you noticed how bright, funny and awesome Sharon and her kids are? Lucky you if you ever get invited over for a play date with them. And maybe you should cut yourself some slack at home. You deserve a break.

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    2. Chillax, Isabelle! It's all good. Try putting down the mop and disinfectant and let yourself laugh a little. No one is making a mockery of the moms striving for perfection in their home decor. Maybe see it from the other end: I really appreciate Sharon's humor because all those "perfect lifestyle" blogs that showcase the "perfect homemaker" make the rest of us feel like we suck, but really we are just normal and our homes don't look like they are out of a West Elm catalog. At the end of the day, it's the time that we spend with our kids and not whether there are crumbs on our floors that will determine whether our kids grow up to good people.

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  67. You are awesome. Thanks for posting this.

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  68. I don't celebrate having a mess of a house, but you know what? Sometimes houses look like this and it's OK. Sometimes we don't feel like doing laundry or picking up the broom we left on the middle of the kitchen floor and it's OK. I love watching house tours but always roll my eyes when there's a bouquet of fresh flowers in every room, I mean c'mon.

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  69. This post was such a huge HUGE relief to read. Funny as h#$% but, man, just put my mind at ease. No one lives the seamless lifestyle blog that I see city-dwelling fashionable mommas turned bloggers post. No one. My apartment (which is a fraction of this size - way to go on the kitchen, btw. It's enormous!) looks like this right now. I'll be up until 2 or 3 with my husband trying to clean it and it will still look like this tomorrow. Child rearing in exhausting. I don't have time or enough high gloss white ceramic vessels turned nosegay vases to make this place look like a hip mother's Domino spread before my toddler will run through here and knock it all over and throwing my s#$% everywhere. I'm fresh off of three very big deal NYC lifestyle blogs showing apartment tours and was calling bulls#$% when I hopped over here. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Critics can stuff it. We've ALL HAD THIS APARTMENT (granted...maybe without the big a$$ kitchen).

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  70. YES!!! We need more of this. Less of the perfect lifestyle blogs. This seriously cracked me up and brightened my day. You are awesome, Sharon!!!

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  71. This was damned fabulous. ... Am I allowed to cuss on a Mormon blog? If not, I'm sorry.

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  74. Trong những ngành công nghiệp xây dựng chế tạo, trên các công trường xây dựng đang thi công, hay trong các nhà máy sản xuất việc tiềm ẩn rủi ro tai nạn lao động là điều khó tránh khỏi.
    Chính vì vậy, công tác bảo hộ lao động được chú trọng hơn bao giờ hết. Cùng với các quy định về vệ sinh, an toàn lao động thì các trang thiết bị bảo hộ lao động như Mũ bảo hộ lao động, đóng một vai trò hết sức quan trọng. Các trang thiết bị bảo hộ thiết yếu dành cho người lao động bao gồm các sản phẩm như
    Quần áo bảo hộ lao động, trang bị Giầy bảo hộ lao động giúp bảo vệ chân của người lao động an toàn hơn trong mọi môi trường làm việc,
    ,Bên cạnh đó việc bảo vệ đôi mắt là điều cần thiết bởi vậy sản phẩm Kính bảo hộ lao động ưa chuộng được sử dụng,
    ,Găng tay bảo hộ lao động vv.
    Mỗi sản phẩm, được trang bị đồ bảo hộ lao động như Áo phản quang, Áo phông đồng phục,
    cho người lao động sẽ đóng vai trò riêng của nó trong khi việc đảm bảo an toàn lao động
    két sắt,
    đá hoa cương,
    Đá ốp bếp,
    đá hoa cương cao cấp,

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