I finally got my drivers license. I had to because I was bringing it up in every conversation as if I was so special. How urban! So eco friendly! I'm the queen of the slow movement! I do this kind of thing a lot. I've learned I have to own cable TV, eat meat, and have an active Facebook account. Otherwise, I'll go on and on about how awesome I am for resisting such trivial lowly things. I'm tempted to learn how to write with my right hand so I can stop humble bragging about how difficult everything is for me. See what I mean? I bring up stuff like that all the time to make sure people know how different I am from the rest of the world.
I respect people who can resist this urge. I have a few friends who don't have Facebook accounts and they do it beautifully. Good for them. I know no one cares why I wouldn't have a Facebook account (I do)/don't eat meat (I do)/don't watch TV (I do). But as soon I stop doing any of those things, I'll bring it up when the conversation gets dry.
So here's the plan: I promise to always have cable TV, eat meat, have Facebook, and anything else that falls under the "look how awesome I am for not owning" category. For example, I promise I'll never let my license expire so long that I have to take the written and road test again. Even if I never drive for the rest of my life, I will have a current license.
There's one thing I should mention. If I ever buy a car like the one above, I guarantee I won't shut up about it. I'll never stop bragging about things I own. Oh no. It's the things I don't own that gets annoying. Giving everyone the warning now. You have time to de-friend me on Facebook.