5/12/14

Crying Wolf: Stomach Flu and Weight Loss

Picture taken May 6, 2012. AKA That other time in my life I was skinny. Hello collarbones. 
I was going strong on my Weight Watchers program for 8 weeks. I lost a total of 8 pounds. People started telling me I looked good. I fit into a size 4 dress that I haven't worn it since I was a vegan years ago. Then my family got a 24 hr stomach flu. First Oscar, then Owen, then Rob. I was sure I was going to be next, so I ate a pint of coconut ice cream to prepare. And a few other things I'm too embarrassed to say. Ok, it was Ho Hos and lemon sherbet and then I lost track. But I was going to throw it up anyway, so what did it matter? 

That night, I suddenly felt really sick. I had severe stomach pains. I was sweating. I laid next to the toilet. While the cold tiles felt cool on my back, I could have done without the smell of piss. I need to clean better for times like this. As the pain got worse, I started moaning. Oscar heard me all the way from his bedroom and said, "Let it out mama. Let it out." My personal stomach flu had arrived. I was relieved my plan worked.

I crawled into bed and posted this picture on Instagram with the caption, "Stomach flu. I'm in bed trying to think of happier times. Like when we rented model boats in Central Park. That was a good idea." And in came the sympathy notes from friends. Hang in there! Feel better! So sorry! I knew what to expect over the next 24 hrs. It wasn't going to be pretty.

An hour later my suffering was over. I never threw up. I started to regret posting that picture on Instagram. And eating the ice cream. The ho-hos. The other stuff. I fell asleep and the next morning I woke feeling fine.

I never got the stomach flu, but I learned something. It was fun eating without restraint. It's been 2 weeks and I haven't stopped. Still preparing for the stomach flu I guess. In that time, my tooth has chipped, I've gained all the weight back, and People Magazine came out with their world's most beautiful people list. That issue is the worst. I couldn't resist it though. Like a giant piece of pie I know I shouldn't eat, I read the magazine cover to cover in the dentist office. I'm out of control.

I have two options. Laxatives. Lots and lots of laxatives. Or get it together. That means: walk 10,000 steps, do 30 minutes of Just Dance and eat 26 points everyday.

Since I'm too embarrassed to buy the laxatives, I'll go with option 2. See ya in 8 weeks. You better tell me I look good.

And if you're curious, I took a picture of what my belly looked like as I prepared for the stomach flu 2 weeks ago . . .





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22 comments:

  1. Hey there,

    I'm totally in favour of sports instead of a strict diet. I deeply believe that if you keep your body strong and cook tasty, fat, yummy food, the result is exactly the body God wants you to have :-)

    Love from Germany!
    Bambi

    http://lasagnolove.blogspot.de/

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  2. everything in moderation, especially the exercise.

    http://semiweeklyeats.blogspot.com/2014/05/work-outfit-13.html

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  3. This is funny. Love your rationale...

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  4. You're funny. Just be funny. Get fat if you like, just keep making me laugh.
    (PS - eating a brownie as I read this!)

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  5. OMG - Seriously? This is just too too too hilarious! You are beautiful (and clearly funny, and talented!) Let that sink in as you work towards your goals.

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  6. Loved this post! Your honesty is inspiring. K :)

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  7. Thank you very much you really informed me much information , i really search about your article

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  8. You crack me up !! Ohhhh how you make me laugh. Keep it up… as a fellow blogger… I TOTALLY APPRECIATE YOU … throw up or {{ lack of throw up }} and all. Hahahaaa

    Big hug
    Lynne xx

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  9. Hi Sharon!

    I love your blog and the way you write!

    Let me tell you that I have been on a weight loss journey for about 15 months. (To be honest all my life I have had weight issues but on the last 15 months I've done more progress than the other times I tried).

    Weight loss is a journey that takes time, effort and sometimes it does take the best of you and you give up. It has happened to me many times in the past and once during my current weight loss journey. I've lost 88 pounds and after going crazy and eating like that was no tomorrow and stopping exercising for 4 rntire months I gained 20 pounds back.

    I felt miserable, I considered taking a truck load of laxatives and all but I just decided to forgive myself (for the 100th time) and go back to diet and exercising.

    It is working. I fell like giving up my diet for a slice of cheescake nearly every day but I know I will get trhough it.

    I have about 30 pounds to go and I'm sure I will get to my goal and so are you to yours.

    Just stick to making good choices in regards to food and exercising a few times a week. You can do it!

    Leticia

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  10. You are too cool to worry about weight. I used to have weight issues and I resent every moment that my mind wasted counting calories, cataloguing my daily food intake and berating myself. What a waste of my fucking life! Eventually I miraculously reached this maturity where I could suddenly look at food I didn't need and think (sincerely) "it's not worth it." And I mean from a mental perspective, not a weight perspective. Looking back, I think I lost weight by always trying to eat veggies at lunch too (not just supper). I ate veggies "as well," not "instead". Also, I read Richard Hittleman's famous yoga book and started leaning toward food that intuitively seemed more prana-filled. Nowadays, although I could pig out on Brie, I couldn't ever pig out on teddy grams, for example. Once I got that blessed maturity, if I did pig out, I would never "compensate" with extra light eating (unless I just wasn't hungry.) that's a vicious cycle. Try the book Women, Food and God. I might have the order wrong. :)

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  11. Eat, drink, & be merry:) How many points is this?:)
    ~C

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  12. You. Are . The. Best.
    I always feel like the tImes I put on weight are when I start to think about it and analyze what I'm eating. Generally, as ling as I keep walking (dog+city living+no car FTW!), making my food from scratch, and ENJOYING every bite, I'm good to go. I'm not gonna be the slimest Lima bean out there, but that's okay with me :) All that being said, to each their own! Good luck on your journey and please, just keep posting! You're honesty and humor is too refreshing not to have in my life :)

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  13. Great post. I'm just now finding your blog, and I can't understand why I haven't before now! Hilarious.

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  14. Oh Sharon, that smirk in your pregnant picture cracks me up. You - Were - DONE!! hahaa Love you so much. My weight loss secret after my kids was bubble gum. Not mint, the good old fashioned bubbalicious flavors like grape and watermelon. It helped with my sweets cravings without all the calories!

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  15. haha laughing at the belly shot. i love you!

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  16. I lost six pounds in eight days. Whooeee. And I didn't have a baby!

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  17. If you try to lose weight or burn calories. Eat only when you are hungry. It’s as simple as that. I have seen people just fill their mouth and stomach with all sorts of food only for the taste.

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  18. I don't want to be that one person that comes in bitching about language, and I don't have any serious concerns that someone who sounds as balanced as you do is turning bulimic, but when I hear "laxatives" in a weight loss post the red flags go off nonetheless. Laxatives are a pretty common way that bulemics purge and it scares me to even think that people might assume you're promoting that as a weight loss technique.

    I love reading your blog for its joy and balance and appreciate your honesty and humor. And I think you're beautiful people even if your picture was missing from the magazine.

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  19. I really enjoy the blog article. Thanks Again. Cool.

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