9/5/13

Thursday Morning Confessions

best couple shot ever! we love taking pictures together!!! so much fun!!!
After I dropped my kids off at school today, I went for a quick jog home. When I got to my building, I skipped the elevator and walked the 6 flights of stairs to my apartment. When I came in, it was really quiet. Except for me--I was breathing so loud. I wanted to sit down, but I paced up and down our hallway a few times until my heart slowed down. Finally, I went to the living room and rested on a chair. I thought I heard someone in the house.

"Rob, you home?" I asked.

I looked in the bedroom and then the bathroom. As I walked in, I saw him in the tub taking a bath, just laying there completely still. Never a good sign. Rob only takes a bath when he's working out something in his brain. It's his thinking chair.

He looked up at me and said, "Hey."

I was blissfully unaware of him at this point, the endorphins must have been kicking in. I looked at myself in the mirror in front of the medicine cabinet. My face was completely red and splotchy, but I felt good. I went back to the living room and started taking my shoes off. I watched Rob walk down the hallway, wrapped in a towel, still thinking about something.

He looked at my and asked, "Did you stop blogging and writing because of me?"

Ha! This is what's bothering him? "Ehh, no. It has nothing to do with you. I haven't stopped blogging. Or writing. I just took a break over the summer. The kids were driving me crazy. It's really that simple."

Still, he looked distressed. "I just feel like you have a lot of regrets."

Whaa? Where is all this coming from? "Of course I have regrets," I responded. "It boggles my mind when people say they don't have regrets. What, are they perfect? They never made a mistake? There's a million things I would tell my 18-year-old self if I could. Most people would." I started thinking about all the movies about time travel because it's such a universal dilemma . . . Back to the Future, Peggy Sue Got Married, Back to the Future Part II! Tons of movies. I can't be alone in this.

He was still acting weird for the next 15 minutes, asking me all these bizarre life questions. Especially at 8am in the morning. That's when he confessed.

He needed a notebook for a meeting today and found one in my dresser. It was a notebook he received a while ago from work with his company's logo on it. Perfect, he thought. But before he put it in his backpack, he flipped through it to make sure it had a few blank pages. What he found was my handwriting. One day last April, I used the notebook as a journal. 14 pages worth of stay-at-home-mom angst. He read every page while I dropped the kids off at school this morning.

When he showed me the notebook, and told me he read it, I didn't even remember what I wrote in it. I could have written anything 6 months ago. I scanned it over and found page after page filled with garbage about how "No one knows the real me!" Stupid shit like, "I've been writing so much for my blog that I've been losing track of myself. It's not that what I write online is very different, it's just not exactly me. It's so damn edited." Basically it was 14 pages of self loathing rubbish I would never want people to read or care about in the first place. That's why I put it in a journal. With a rubber band around it. And forgot about it for six months.

I explained all this to him until he realized the ridiculousness of the situation and apologized for being so weird.

Before he walked out of the door he said, "This would make a good blog post." I certainly agree.

As a peace offering, I'm expecting him to bring me home a diary with a lock and key. With wild horses on it. He just better not read what I'm going to write about this event. It ain't going to be this nice!


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37 comments:

  1. Sharon, thank you for writing such an honest post. As I am working through a relationship breakup and a major surgery (all within the last four months), I find myself surrounded by regrets. I often feel as though I am alone in this, and other people's lives are perfect - perfect job, husband, kids, etc. It is nice to learn that others (even those with a seemingly perfect life) have regrets as well.

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  2. I am so glad you are back in the internets. I missed blog posts like this.

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  3. Such honesty. Truly warms my heart to read. Keep on, keepin' on. Your words really do make an impact! Lots of love all the way from New Orleans.

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  4. i read this with a fresh journal open on my leg that I was about to vent in because I should be working while my kids nap but I need to get some gunk out of my brain so I can remember to be positive and move on. Come to Vermont, already! I want to hang out.

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  5. I love this, thank you so much for sharing! I've missed your writing, too!

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  6. Oh, I hope you continue to blog. It must be difficult to share your life publicly and be open to criticism. What I love most about your blog is that you never seem to sugar coat anything. I'm not naming names, but there a few NYC Mormon mom blogs who wax poetically daily about how much they love their husbands, how perfect their children are, and how blessed they are to live in such a wonderful city. They put forth a fairy tale of a life that no one with a drop of common sense believes. But your blog, with all your ups and downs and honesty? Now that's a blog I hope to read for a long time.
    So thank you for sharing with us
    Liz
    PS: I also think you are a talented storyteller. Your narratives about your kids and your younger years have made me laugh out loud. Have you done any more of those open night mic story nights?

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    Replies


    1. Hello Friends I have something to share with you!!! There is a great joy in my heart which I want to share with everyone. My name is Lisa. I had a misunderstanding with my lover (Boyfriend) several months ago; which led us to break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. But as time went on, a good friend of mine recommended Doctor dada who could help me with Love Spell to get my man back. At first, I thought the idea of a love spell was strange,but was willing to give it a try because i really love my boyfriend. For the first time I was scared to contact the Doctor because I was not sure if what they did was against my religion. But my friend assured me that they only use Spell which is safe and has no side effects. I felt a little better and decided to contact Dr. dada on his mail (dadariver.shrine@gmail.com) I contact him i was so suprise and my ex boyfriend really come back to me i am very happy to day with my lover,i want to thank dr dadariver.shrine@gmail.com who help me today contact him for help he we all so help you tool,

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  7. The same thing happened to me recently! My boyfriend finally confessed that he had read some stuff I'd written in a notebook. We’d been having an argument and I was actually wondering if I should break up with him. So I wrote a pros/cons list (like a 12 year old girl). We got over our argument, but months later he found this list that I’d written in a random notebook and just left out in the open (I am always journaling in inappropriate places…like in a notebook I use at work in the middle of meeting notes. Should stop this!). Anyway, it said things like “he doesn’t give me compliments very often” and then I did actually notice at one point that he was giving more compliments than usual so I had a sneaking suspicion that he’d found that list. A few months after that it came out. He wasn’t too upset since he says it was all things he already knew. I just know that if the situation had been reversed, I would have been heartbroken!

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  8. Oh Im so glad you openly accept regrets! I know its pointless, but I spend a bit too much time fantasising what I would say to my 18 years old self, especially now, when i feel the consequences of those choices. keep writing Sharon!

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  9. I love your blog. You really are refreshing. And you were both right--this made a great blog post:).

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  10. You are such a talented storyteller! Thanks for sharing!

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  11. I'm a regular reader of yours and obviously missed the daily posts, but you deserved a break as both a hardworking mom and hardworking person-period. Americans should follow the European way and take a month off for vacation to be able to just live, reinvigorate, and enjoy the simple things.

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  12. amazing, Sharon. Thanks for saying you have regrets. We all do, but we are afraid to admit it. Thanks for this.

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  13. Thank you so much for posting. Funny and smart as always. :)

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  14. O goodness I prefer my husband not to read my blog let alone any journals I may have lurking about the house!

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  15. I know you've been back a whole like 3 posts but you can tell you've got a new, more honest, more you thing going and I lurv it. I've always appreciated when you talk about feeling like you need to pose your kids, or wish your foyer was nicer or whatever because we all feel the need to tweak and perfect our lives, especially in blogging world where everything is shiny. But it's always sort of frustrating to read because it's so not necessary. Please don't take that as mean because I'm talking to myself too and you're always the first to admit you're wrong about that stuff anyway.

    But anyway. What was I saying? Oh yeah: keep on embracing your regret and your voice. It's making you super fun to read.

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  16. We all get depressed some point in life and it's super normal! Most importantly, you have an amazing husband who cares so much about you! So stay cheerful! :D

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  17. Aww, Rob is so sweet. We all have angst, and of course, like any real human, I have a ton of regrets! So nice to hear you echo that. (And, wow, just saw the horror show of commenters on your last post. The good thing about bringing out the haters is that they bring out those of us who love your blog but may not always comment -- and I'm pretty sure there's way more of us!)

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  18. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I don't have any regrets. I think that people put too much emphasis on things they "shoulda/coulda/woulda - didn't do". You can't change the past, so why bother trying to go back and "fix" it? Or wondering about how it would've turned out differently? Life is constantly moving forward and there will be so many other opportunities to "do it right" the next time.

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  19. Do tell! I think you're a very cool person, and I'd love to hear more about the real you. I'd write more about myself on my blog if my mom didn't read it. ;)

    I'm the queen of regrets. I feel we would get along swimmingly...!

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  20. Hello to every one out here, am here to shear my the unexpected miracle that has happen to me three days ago, I came across a post online talking about how she got her ex back to her with the help of the great spell caster who happens to be high Dr momodo, that he helped her though i never believe this because i was just wondering how could this be, but i gave my self hope and i contact the spell caster. this is the unbelievable that has happened to me this December I was happily married and we had three kids, we lived together as one because we both loved each other but before i knew it, my husband started acting funny and cheating on me later on, he told me that he cannot continue with me so that was how he left me and my three kids without noting but there was noting i could do to stop him or bring him back to me I work so had to pay the children's schools fee and other responsibility i did this for good five years. I cry all day and night because i don't know what else to do to have my husband back to me until this faithful day i saw the post from one miss Nicole testifying how the high priest helped her to get her ex back I just wanted to try my luck because i never believe it will work but to my greatest surprise, am singing a new song i contacted the great priest on 2nd of December and he told me not to worry because once he finish caster the spell, that i will get my husband back the unbelievable happened on Friday when i got a call and I was surprise to hear my husbands voice apologizing to me that he is so sorry for keeping alone and came back home and we are happy together again wow, i really appreciate your good work great Dr momodo, God bless you and your good work for there noting else i can say than to tell the world about you. So if any one is out here seeing this post and you have similar issue like this, worry no more and contact the only man that can help you this email: momodospelltemple@gmail.com

    My name is: Michael Redmond

    from USA.

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  21. Getting my Ex back my name is Sarah. I've known Johnson for years, When we finally got together things were kind of weird so we broke up which was in February of 2011 In June of 2012 he and I recently got back together and we were together until march of 2013 which he told me he was not interested in relationship again During that time I changed completely, I wasn't eating,I was sleeping a lot, I wasn't talking to anybody, I cried a lot,I'm so depressed and stressed out that I'm scared I'm going to end up in the hospital because of all the stress and depression until one day i search online on getting love tips because I Love & care about him deeply and I just want us to be together as a couple again and I want us to last forever Google recommend me tataspelltemple@gmail.com that he will solve my relationship problem then Dr tata told me he will come back to me between 48hrs after he cast spell on him never believe it until my fiance called me on the phone and told me he want us to come back and live happy together forever , Am so happy now that DR TATA, help me bring Johnson back to me. Thanks so much( Dr tata) his email:tataspelltemple@gmail.com

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  22. My Names is Monique Curry ,AM from United states .i never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in June last year on a business summit i meet a man called Dr ogboni, is powerful he could help you cast a spells to bring back my love s gone misbehaving lover looking for some one to love you bring back lost money and magic money spell or spell for a good job i m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 4weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3 year i really loved him, but his mother was against me and he had no good paying job so when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him at first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try and in 6 days when i returned to taxes my boyfriend (is now my husband ) he called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married i didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid and my husband also got a new job and our lives became much better in case anyone needs the spell caster for some help his email address: ogbonispelltemple@gmail.com

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  23. THANKS TO GREAT DR.OMON FOR SOLVING MY PROBLEMS
    Am : Monica Williams, From CANADA, i was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to USA for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so i and my kids were now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, i and my kids where so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my husband back home because i love and cherish him so much so one day as i was browsing on my computer i saw a testimony about this spell caster Dr.omon testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much i also think of give it a try. At first i was scared but when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr.omon and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how i get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from Dr.omon, i want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to Dr.omon and i will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is omonualovespelltemple@hotmail.com he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. once again hi email address is omonualovespelltemple@hotmail.com

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  24. Hello am Kate Kelly from the united state, i read some testimony about Dr iayaryi on how he has helped people in bringing back there ex within 48hours i was just thinking if that was real,And decided to call a lady who made a testimony and also dropped her number,So i called her and ask her about Dr iayaryi she said Dr Odia is a trustworthy man and he his ready to bring back my lover for me,i was just so happy and a little bit relief that my lover will be back to me soon,Then i decided in contacting Dr iayaryi which i did,And before i could share him my problem he has already told me what i came for,And he said everything will be okay within 48hours that my lover will be back to my arms,So he said he would be casting the spell and that within 48hours my lover would call me,So i hoped so truly before the 48hours i got a call from a man who has left me for the past 6years saying he is sorry and he wants me back,i was happy and i said i also want him back,Then i traveled to canada to meet him up,And he apologized for what he has done to me now he proposed to marry me and we are both preparing for our wedding soon,All thanks to the great and World best spell caster, Dr iayaryi His private mail driayaryi2012@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Mrs. peter blessingJanuary 30, 2014 at 10:14 PM

    Hello people in this forum
    My Name is Mrs. peter blessing, I was married to my husband for 10 years and we were both bless with three children, living together as one love, until 2012 when things was no longer the way the was [when he lost his job]. But when he later gets a new job 6 months after, he stated sleeping outside our matrimonial home. Only for me to find out that he was having an affair with the lady that gave he the job. since that day, when i called him, he don't longer pick up my calls and he nothing since to come out good. Yet my husbands just still keep on seeing the lady. Until I met a very good friend of my who was also having a similar problem, who introduced me to a very good love spell caster. But i told her that if it has to do with things that i am not interested, but she said that it has nothing to do with pay first. but the only thing he was ask to do was just to go and buy the items to cast the spell, and that was what she did. And she gave me the spell caster e-mail address and phone number. When i contacted him, solutionoflovespelltemple@gmail.com, i was so surprise when he said that if i have the faith that i will get my husband back in the nest three [3] day, and off which it was really so. but i was so shock that i did not pay any thing to prophet lord, but my husband was on his knells begging me and the children for forgiveness. This testimony is just the price i have to pay. This man Prophet lord is good and he is the author of my happiness. His e-mail address: solutionoflovespelltemple@gmail.com

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  26. Hello,
    My Name is Rose Maria, From UK, All thank to Prophet Vicky for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I lost my boyfriend, and i required help until i found Prophet Lord for his male spell caster, And she assured me that I will get my boyfriend back in one days after the spell has been cast. one day later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for long, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to devote the rest of his life with me. Prophet Lord released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him.. right now me and my fiance is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up.. All thanks goes to Prophet Lord for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is his email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. Prophet Lord. victorylifelovespelltemple@gmail.com

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  27. Hello every body
    My Name is Smith Jude, am from USA, I decided to share this amazing testimony of my life, on this forum because i knew of so many people who will still be having the same issues, which you are finding so difficult to solve. I have been suffering from HIV, for the past 2 years now. I have visited so many doctors, and hospitals and I could not get the solution to my sickness. I decided to discuss my HIV sickness problems with my friend Daphne Forrest. she introduce me to a power spiritualist, and a great spell caster Dr iayaryi. I never believe I could get cured so fast. What a relief, he has done in my life, the amazing Dr iayaryi, you too can get cured today, from any kind of deadly diseases, and virus by contacting him immediately via email: driayaryi2012@hotmail.com

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  28. It's awesome and amazing. My name is Jerry Mike from the United States. Getting my wife back was what i least expected and could ever imagine. I and my wife have been married

    for five years and we have been living happily but all of a sudden she changed completely and turned away from me but i never knew what was going on, and i tried to ask her but she

    refused to tell me what the problem is, and as time went on she sought for a divorce. I was so worried and confused. During my search for a way out, a friend of mine who had similar

    problem told me about a great spell caster called dr.wisdoms who helped him with his situation. I never use to believe in spell casting in my entire life so i tried to give this man a

    chance because i never thought it will work for me but to my greatest surprise it got me a positive result and i was able to get my wife back. Even after the spell caster did his work, i

    discovered my wife fell so much in love with me unlike before. This spell casting isn't brain washing but he opened up her eyes to see how much i love and needed her. Now i am a

    happy man again and do not know what to do for him and so i am using this opportunity to tell anyone having similar problem to visit dr.wisdomspellhome@gmail.com. com he will help

    you because he is so real and his spells is so powerful. Once again thank you dr.wisdoms and may your gods reward you for your good deeds.....

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  29. I'm Anna from Texas. My husband left me for no reason. He moved in with another woman, when we have few days left for our wedding. I felt like killing myself. I've tried different spell
    casters and went to different temples to pray but all to no avail. My life was very bitter and sorrowful. Then one day, a friend of mine told me about dr Lucas and that he is very
    good and does not even charge a lot for his services. He said he helped him get his job back and on his marital affairs. I didn't believe it because I've worked with many of them and it
    didn't work. He begged me further, so I decided to try out Dr Lucas. I contacted him, and I gave him the necessary information. I still didn't believe, but I still went ahead and purchased
    he love spell, and the next day I received a call and it was my darling husband, Fred. He apologized and came back to me. He even gave me some money as a means of
    compensating me and for the preparation of our wedding. I'm now a very happy woman. Thank you dr Lucas, I will forever be grateful to you. he can solve any problem. Try him
    today and you won't remain the same again, and thank me later. You can contact him via this email dr.lucaspellhome01@outlook.com He is ready to solve any problem once again
    thanks Dr Lucas you are the best.

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  30. I AM Alice from united kingdom i was propose to get married to a love one, but he suddenly changed his mind just because he found him self a new love, my heart just broken and so

    devastated to the extend of committing suicide a friend of mine introduced me to a powerful prophet called dr.brown when i first head of him i never believed his powers until i visited

    the holy temple of the great prophetic man dr.brown, a man of wisdom and understanding he helped me out after having some conservation with him, and my ex love who promised to

    marry me later came back to apologize to me, today we are happily married with two lovely kids. All thanks goes to dr.brown the powerful spell caster, if you need any help from him

    contact him with this dr.you are unable to add email address here , he is very powerful . dr.brown is a great man I love him is a man of prophetic word once again contact him @

    dr.you are unable to add email address here

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  31. Be careful here nobody can help you here or even suggest how you can get your ex or love back,any testimonies of most spell caster here must be ignore.because most of them are scam i mean real scam which i was a victim and i got ripped of thousands of dollars because i was so anxious to get my wife back after she left me for over 2 years with my 7 years old son jerry,i have applied to 7 different spell caster here and all to no avail they all ask for same thing send your name your ex name address and picture phone number etc which i did over and over again and most of them were from west Africa until i saw a post about mama Anita spell and i decided to gave her my last trail.she ask me four things my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and $180 and said my ex will come back in 24hours, i have paid over $3000 on spell casting and courier and nothing have work for me after 3 days i was thinking about how much i have lost so far so i said let me give her a try so i called her again and send my real name,my ex and my ex mother name and the $180 because i swear it was my last try so i was waiting as she told me to wait till next day and i could not sleep that night because i really love my wife and want her back at 9pm that day i saw my wife on line on face book and she said hi at first i was shock because she never talk with me for the past a year and 9 month now i did not reply again she said are you there? i quickly reply yes and she said can we see tomorrow i said yes and she went off-line i was confused i try to chat her again but she was no more on line i could not sleep that night as i was wondering what she is going to say, by 7.am the next morning she gave me a miss call i decided not to call back as i was still on shock again she call and i pick she said can we see after work today i said yes so she end the call immediately i got off work she call me and we meet and now we are back again i call mama anita the next day thanking her for what she has done in fact i still call her and thank her as my life was not complete without my wife please be careful here i have been scam thousands of dollars if you want a true love spell then contact mama Anita (mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com)

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  32. Hello every body My name is Jessica Ruiz from Florida I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, I was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Lucy told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Dr.okofu I email Dr.okofu of okofuspelltemple@gmail.com the spell caster and he told me my problem will be solved and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr.okofu for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is: okofuspelltemple@gmail.com you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family too.

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  33. Hello friends,my name is Mr john i want to give thanks to Dr.okofu who helped me allot in getting back my love and also helped me in my financial problem.i was in relationship with Mella both of us lived together in love and in happiness, suddenly she just work up one morning telling me that she is sick and tired of me i was so shocked and confused cause i never did anything wrong to her still i had to plead to her because i love her so much, but she still insisted to breakup with me,i tried all i could to get her back but it was not possible, after she left i was some how financially down i did not know what happened to my finance, so i decided to contact some spell casters which happens to be scams, i was frustrated then decided not to contact any spell caster again, one day i was watching a show when i saw a woman named Anna was giving testimony on how this great man named Dr.okofu helped her in getting back her lover within 24 hours so that was how i decided to give a try and i contacted Dr.okofu and told him about how she left me and my finance,the only thing he said was that i my lover will come back to me and my finance will come up again, that he is going to do all within 24 hours, so just decided to watch and see. in the next 24 hours which he said i got a call from her and she was pleading to me that she is very sorry for what she did to me, the most surprising thing was that the job i applied for in a company for almost 4 months, they just called and told me that i should come and start the work that am capable of doing the job, i was so surprised a tears of joy rolled down from my eyes,i was very very happy and she just came to my house and she started pleading to me, so i accepted her apology and now we are living happily together now, and am working in the company now am happy again. all thanks to Dr.okofu for helping me and for making my dream to come through. for help and for appreciation you can contact Dr.okofu through
    okofuspelltemple@gmail.com

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