7/11/13

How to Stay Married for 10 Years: Distortion and Apologies


In one month, Rob and I will be celebrating 10 years of complete marital bliss. Complete. Take the photo above for example. My husband took this picture of me and my sisters in a tree house. I'm twenty pounds heavier than them but it's obvious the camera has wildly distorted me. I look like a giant ape about to swing from the branches. After seeing it, I was whining about looking huge and told him to shift his position so he would have a direct forward shot. In my most condescending voice, I told him this small adjustment would help avoid distortion. His response? "Sharon, you're bigger than your sisters. I can't change that." Whoa. What is that suppose to mean, anyway? My face dropped and responded with something like, "You're awful!" and ran off to sob in the bathroom for hours. Just kidding. I made him take another picture. And this time make me look skinny damn it. He nailed it, even with my seething inside. He knew he said the stupidest thing and apologized a billion times. It took a few hours, but it eventually became our running joke of the trip.

This basically has been the set up for our entire marriage: Rob trying to do something nice for me (take a photo), I criticize it (no, stand here!), he gets defensive (you're big!), and then surprises me with brilliance anyway (nailed the shot). Insert a trillion apologies, and in the end, we've accumulated endless amounts of inside jokes because of our blunders.  Complete marital bliss indeed.

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20 comments:

  1. This is hilarious! And as someone who's been with my husband for 13 years now, I can safely say that while no two paths to marital bliss are identical, yours surely will ring true for many of us! People who think marital bliss is just getting along perfectly all the time are totally delusional. The key is getting over things quickly, and learning to laugh and each other and ourselves. Happy 10!

    www.nomadicd.com

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    1. Loved your comment. I've been living with my boyfriend for 4 years now and feel exactly like you. Getting over things quickly and laughing it off is our way of dealing with differences and keeping the spirit fun.

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  2. Wow, fantastic, I'm so envious!!Happy anniversary!

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  3. Awww... I love your candor. You and Rob have a great relationship. So adorable. Happy Anniversary!!

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  4. Great pics, Rob:) Happy Anniversary:)
    ~C

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  5. Haha you're hilarious, I love your honesty. Happy Anniversary!!

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  6. 1. You all are gorgeous!
    2. 10 years!!! You look like you were a teen bride.
    3. That's my marriage too. We're less than 1 year in so I'm glad this can sustain for 10 years ;)

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  7. Hilarious and spot on! I've been married 12 years in September and I couldn't agree more. Your honesty is refreshing :)

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  8. I think you look totally beautiful!!!! xx

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  9. Great picture! Sharon, did you ever tell the story of your and Rob's first date? I was reading your 8th anniversary post and you mentioned that you would share it sometime. I love reading your writing!

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  10. great pic...but the sister in the grey shirt? she looks so skinny from the front it looks like her sides are photoshopped!

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  11. Haha so sweet! Love your writing and can never get enough of it! Congratulations for soon-to-be married for ten years! What an incredible achievement, nowadays!

    Maria

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  12. Sooooo cute, you have it. The secret to a happy marriage: inside jokes. In fairness to Rob, middle sister is tiny.

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  13. when I first saw this picture (before reading the post) I was thinking about how refreshing it was to see a normal looking blog-writer. You look great and it's encouraging to see a well-known blog author who reminds me of me. :)

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  14. A} I feel like I know you.
    B} I thought the first picture was cutie-pie until
    C} I saw the second. It is better.

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  15. I always quip that my husband is best at taking the most unattractive photos of me. I always try to watch my angles, but he seems to have an uncanny ability to find my worst ones regardless. Marital bliss....I love how it looks different for each couple. Happy anniversary!!

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  16. When taking family photos, how crusty my children's faces are ranks in importance only slightly above how fat my arms look. Looks like you are having a fabulous summer.

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  17. I really like this post. Your honesty is very refreshing.

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  18. Damn...the sister in the middle is hot!

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