|i am smiling.|
My senior year in high school I went on a road trip for spring break with some of my best guy friends. We drove down to San Diego with a couple of surfboards (pretending to be surfers) looking for girls that wanted to make-out.
When we arrived in San Diego we stopped in at some taco shop and I went to use the restroom. As I was going pee (standing-up) my buddy Scott snuck up behind. He pushed me in the back and held me against the urinal. I can’t explain exactly how it feels to have your wiener pressed up against the porcelain of a urinal with water running down it, so I’ll just say it was gross. He held me there for a bit as I screamed and then finally let me go. We both laughed about it and went back to lunch like nothing happened.
The week went by and we had a great time filled with a number of dumb teenage pranks. On our way back to the Bay Area we stopped in at a Denny’s for breakfast. It was about 5:00 AM and we all piled into a corner booth. I ordered my favorite “moons over my hammy” and went to take a leak.
When I heard the door open behind me, I got ready. I stood at the urinal and waited for one of my friends to approach me from behind. When I was certain one of them was standing directly behind me, I turned around and with my manhood in hand I started pissing.
It wasn’t one of my friends. It was some random Denny’s employee that had come in to clean the bathroom. He was holding a broom and a dustpan and he was in shock. He didn’t say a word. He just started at me as if he was unable to process what had just happened. I was mortified.
I shoved my wiener back into my underwear as fast as I could and ran for the door. The entire incident happened so quickly that I hadn’t finished urinating and I continued peeing in my pants as I ran out. I thought about going to back to my table for my food but I couldn’t risk seeing that guy again, so I went straight to the car.
Can you imagine going to work at 5:00 AM to clean a bathroom, probably making minimum wage and some random stranger turns around and pees on you? To this day I feel really bad about the whole thing. I wish I could get the look on his face out of my memory.